From the Daily Heil:
“In a move that is sure to rock the very foundations of football, a Football Club, yesterday, paid a lot of money to another Football Club for a very good footballer.
A spokesman for the selling Football Club said today, “We have been approached by another Football Club for permission to speak to a very good footballer that plays for us at the moment. They have offered us a lot of money and to be honest we fucking jumped at it, it is a LOT of money!”
“The buying Football Club, that is throwing it money about like a young chav that’s just won the lottery, is believed to be foreign, and therefore, under the rules of the FA is suffering from a lack of class and dignity and no sense of history. However, they will gladly take their money even if they did garble on in a ridiculous accent. After translation, the selling club made out that they either wanted directions to the railway station or wanted the Very Good Footballer to go and live in Foreign and play in a substandard league for an obscene, perhaps vulgar, amount of money. The Very Good Footballer was keen on the move but was unavailable for comment as, under FA regulations, he was now clearly a Godless Sodomite.”
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